Whenever I sit down to do a blog post, it’s usually after a deep conversation, insightful read, or some other intellectually stimulating activity. I guess that’s why I haven’t posted anything in a while; I haven’t gotten a chance to just sit and ponder for a while.
Which I regret.
In my years, which aren’t many, I’ve learned a few things. One of which is that humans have a few nasty tendencies. Things that we all do that slowly kill us. We have this urge, this desire, to be comfortable and quiet and live our life how we think it should be. And for some, that suits them just fine…until it doesn’t…
I don’t talk about it much, especially not on such a setting as this, but I guess the shocking revelation is that I didn’t like being at the University I was at last year. It pains me to think about it because for all the talk, all the bragging about it, I really disliked being there.
I was lazy, I didn’t do much and to be honest, I think I may have been mildly depressed. I felt like the spark of life, the reason to get myself out of bed just wasn’t there anymore.
I lacked purpose and motivation.
Southern, it’s a good school. Decent enough programs, wonderful exercise facility, gorgeous landscapes, even my friends were amazing [no seriously, I love you guys], but still something was missing for me. Something I’m glad was brought to my attention.
It was actually brought to my attention working during the summer. I realized that even though I’m a Christian, even though I believe in the Bible, even though I called myself a Seventh-day Adventist, I really wasn’t.
You see, I began to see myself in contrast to the picture the Bible gives of Jesus. I started to see that my “faith” was little more than a few beliefs and a cover-up smile. As my favorite poem goes, We wear the mask that grins and lies/ it hides our cheeks and shades our eyes.
I decided it was time to take a peek underneath the mask. To look at myself in the mirror and take a good long look. Here’s the shocker:
I didn’t like what I saw.
I decided, “You know what? I’m done with this game.” That game we play where we recite our faith with perfect practiced lines and then go into our private life and live in complete contrast. I decided I was actually going to be honest with myself.
And you know what’s crazy? The number one greatest regret of people who are dying is that they wished they had done just that!
They regret not living true to themselves.
So I’m taking a year off of school. A year to do something bigger than myself. A year to actually be a part of a movement. A year to find what God has had in store for me since the beginning of Creation.
And I don’t regret it one bit.
Yeah, I miss my friends, but I found a family. Sure, I’m not pursuing my education, but I am pursuing Wisdom. And of course, I have people who don’t approve with what I’m doing. But guess what?
I’m giving my youth to the Lord (Ecclesiastes 12)
I’m living with no regrets.
So take off the mask. Live with no regrets. Live the life God planned for you.
It’s much easier than anything you’ve got going for you, I promise you that.
Good night, all.